A Romani Ghost

I’m caught between two impossible places

Some adoptees feel like they’re caught between two distinct cultural identities and never quite “fit nicely” into either

Whenever people ask me “what it is like to be adopted,” I tell them I feel like I’m a ghost. Why? Ghosts were once human and are now on a totally different living plane/space. Ghosts can’t move onto the next life for one reason and another and are therefore trapped in a void between the living and the dead. As an adoptee, I am metaphorically dead and caught between two cultures that I can never fully “become one” with. For myself, this is between being a Romani (my birth mother was from the Russian tribe, my father is completely unknown since he was not present at my birth) and American. Yes, I grew up in America for about 97% of my life (I did the math), but I have never had the communal sense of “I belong, this is my home.” Many adoptees report feeling similar feelings.

As much as I fully throw myself into learning about my tribe (I can learn about the Romani as a whole without overall too much difficulty but when I get asked about the Russian tribe, specifically? Near impossible because of how secretive they are as a whole), I can’t ever fully assimilate back. Online, overall the Romani community is extremely guarded. While some (most notably the younger generations from my own witnessing) want to spread the knowledge of the culture and community (to help discourage discrimination and prejudice), others are terrified of…